[(Don't you know it)]

Monday, November 13, 2006

â 3:49 PM

its good to be clever.
i repeat. its freaking good to be clever.
i'm actually supposed to be blogging about 10 of my girlfriends but somehow i have alot of other things to say. i'm also supposed to be doing math or bio or even chem now but i chose not to. (kids: dun try this at home. its not a clever thing to do)
also. i've postponed my piano lesson not because i can't walk but because i think i haven't practiced enough to spend $60 for an hour there. maybe i should just wipe out the entire idea of ever becoming a good pianist. but who cares anyway?

was talking to reuben just now and he asked me how the youths are doing here in JCOC. truthfully, i think we're in trouble but i told him we were fine. perhaps things will take a turn for the better next year when benjamin takes over. this question really is close to my heart. it really bothers me that we're not doing much for the Lord. dun have to say comparing with our parents' efforts in the past. sometimes i wonder if my sis and i were the only ones who realised that we're nowhere near "fine". i'm not blaming anyone for the situation we're in now. in fact if i were to blame anyone; it would be myself. if i had the courage to do things without 'succumbing to redicule' or if i had the determination and focus to do more. i really would. well, that's IF. yea, i've prayed not only for myself but the few youths of this congregation. i can't bring myself to stir the others on due to the fact that i'm scared. i'm scared that i'm not good enough; not in the position to tell them what to do. but yet again.. i'm not telling them what to do.. and what if noone will go with me? this will dissolve into another concoction that will eventually lead to the downfall of the church. as far fetched as it may seem. i'm really afraid that day will come. and if everyone was like u? i wonder what will happen. that's why its good to be clever. u know what to do and people will listen. right?

on a lighter note, i just read jie ren's old entry on the day before he and gloria celebrate their 2 and a half years together. so sweeeeeet! and i kinda agree with him. haha.. oh well, i best be contented with what i have now before everything gets taken away! whoosh!

fine. i'll leave now.