[(Don't you know it)]

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

â 5:59 PM

decisions decisions decisions..
just 2 days alone are leaving me drowning in decisions..
at times i wished that God hadn't given us that freedom to decide at all.
sigh..
maybe its the exams. maybe its Patricia. i dunno, but i'm really emo nowadays.
i really admire her. She's strong: though everything happened before the other problem was solved. when blow after blow left her hurt and feeling alone. i dun tink i can ever be as strong or as independent like her, or at least, how she portrays herself to be.

what makes u happy?
is it the new bag that u bought from GSS? the phonecall with your loved one?
receiving flowers from friends for no good reason? taking a bath? when pp praise u or when u get good results?

i used to be happy because of all the above mentioned. but i can't seem to find happiness anymore. something or someone has left me empty. i'm really feeling empty.. haha.. yesterday before the bio paper i felt something that i never felt before. i thought for once i was really gonna die. like the pain in my chest was gonna make me stop breathing, and i'd just collaspe and die. funny thing is: i felt happy, not so much of scared but yea.. how strange.

i can't seem to find joy anymore. my busy schedule is only helping to take my mind off that emptiness. maybe its a good thing.

i want to go home.