[(Don't you know it)]

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

â 12:25 AM

finally i'm back. right? lol..

sorry.. i've been sooooooo busy after A levels, and finally now i have time to update my dusty and cobweb covered blog. lol.. apologies to everyone who keep checking for updates! =(

anyway.. the enpower U camp was so much fun. well, its more inspiring than fun. Audrey won a scholarship from there and i'm sooooo proud of her. =) i'm keeping to my commitments and have already completed my 100 list. u guys should go if u have the chance to. its really helpful.. and u have to experience it yourself to know the effect, so i shall not spoil the surprise by telling anything. hehhhh..

moving on. the SJ camp was great. was DO for the 3rd day and i think i kinda stressed the DN and camp IC out. haha.. its my job guys. and if any juniors are reading this, i think everyone did a fantastic job. u get what u put in. if u feel u haven't put in as much as u thought u should have, make it up during future programs and activities! don't procrastinate. AND, a big congratulations to those who won awards. proud of u guys!! =) keep the swiss SJ flag flying proud and high!

on another note, it was great catching up with the fellow officers.. we had a lot of fun talking at night and doing things together, reminiscing old times when we were the ones running around and smelling the parade square, greeting officers etc etc.. oh i feeel so olddddd. haha..

well i guess most pp would have found out by now? i'm single now. since 2 sundays ago.. sorry if i didn't manage to tell u in person. but yupps..

ok.. what other updates?? um.... my dad came home from japan yesterday and mom's coming back from thailand tmr! whee.. i love it when family members return. =) there's always the celebration feel in the air. haha..

anyways, its LEON's birthday tmr. and in case i don't have the time to blog tmr. i wanna say somethings about him before he becomes an adult. lol.. ( u better be reading this LEON!)

alrights.. Leon's by far the best cousin i have. haha.. we've been pretty close since we attend the same church services and meet up quite often for family gatherings. He's probably one of the nicest fellows i know. not only is he generous, he's easy going and a goody gentlemen. (haha i sound like i'm promoting him) but yes.. we love him for his quirky sense of humour, amazing vocabulary and spelling too. all in all, i think i'm blessed to have such a wonderful cousin. =) so to leon, i hope that things go well for u as u step into adulthood.. remember always to turn back to the Lord in times of troubles and in times of celebration. thanks for being such a funny "ka cheng" and always looking out for me too! God bless! =)

Happy birthday to youuuu!!!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

â 7:50 PM

my friends, pictures speak a thousand words...

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

â 7:22 PM

truth: i am very confused now

truth: i can't force myself to study

truth: i really really wanna run away right now

truth: i am very extremely sincerely sorry to the both of you

truth: i might be heading back to how i was like before

truth: i don't want u to forget me, ever

truth: i cannot bare to see u cry for your information.

truth: i don't know how much longer i can keep myself together

truth: i feel like dying

truth: u've opened doors that i never imagined anyone could. like u just took my breath away and i still can't breathe. its really unbelieveable that i met someone like u. i wanna explore deeper but fear is hollding me back

truth: i don't think u'll understand. but its ok. it is the truth

truth: it hurts, like hell lot.

truth: i don't know how its gonna be like in the future. so i really cannot promise everything to go as planned but i'll try.

truth: i hope God forgives me.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

â 8:34 PM

before i type anything else, i'd like to thank all the nice friends who wished me well and prayed for me. your said and unsaid kind thoughts are greatly appreciated. =) thank you all so much.

anything else.

ok. sorry, i couldn't wait till next month. haha..
yupp.. prelims are in 3 days..
i'm scared but not really motivated to study..
never really had that feeling before but yupp. haha!!
and i'm in a better mood altogether. whee..

ok u know what, i'm gonna study now. haha..

quoting Cheam: it ain't over till the fat lady sings.

Monday, August 20, 2007

â 12:32 PM

7 days to the start of prelims.
><
i feel so stressed. but noone believes me.
i dun look stressed to most. only close observers can tell
i finished reading a book. it was a stupid thing to do.
i cried at the ending. of course, noone knew. again.
i dun want to go to school. i get very tired of waking up so early and feeling really drained by noon.
see u about a month later.

pls pray for me.
i hope i dun break.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

â 5:59 PM

decisions decisions decisions..
just 2 days alone are leaving me drowning in decisions..
at times i wished that God hadn't given us that freedom to decide at all.
sigh..
maybe its the exams. maybe its Patricia. i dunno, but i'm really emo nowadays.
i really admire her. She's strong: though everything happened before the other problem was solved. when blow after blow left her hurt and feeling alone. i dun tink i can ever be as strong or as independent like her, or at least, how she portrays herself to be.

what makes u happy?
is it the new bag that u bought from GSS? the phonecall with your loved one?
receiving flowers from friends for no good reason? taking a bath? when pp praise u or when u get good results?

i used to be happy because of all the above mentioned. but i can't seem to find happiness anymore. something or someone has left me empty. i'm really feeling empty.. haha.. yesterday before the bio paper i felt something that i never felt before. i thought for once i was really gonna die. like the pain in my chest was gonna make me stop breathing, and i'd just collaspe and die. funny thing is: i felt happy, not so much of scared but yea.. how strange.

i can't seem to find joy anymore. my busy schedule is only helping to take my mind off that emptiness. maybe its a good thing.

i want to go home.

Monday, May 07, 2007

â 9:20 PM

why can't u be more optimistic?
why can't u do things right?
don't u know u dun have time already?
why can't u manage your time?
why do u hate your life so much?
why why?
WAKE UP ZELDA!!!!!!!!!!!